Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Monday, December 08, 2014

Mrs Egeland Apologises

Dear Readers,

I’m writing to apologise for my absence. It mightn’t be over yet.

The last few months, I have been struggling with some personal issues, that I would love to share with you but I don’t know quite how without sounding like I’m whinging.

My health has worsened. To the point where I’m teetering on the edge of a total breakdown again, this time I’m emotionally stronger. But I’m not sure how long I will be able to last.

My creative impulses are still there but I’m not making anything new, I’m not writing hardly at all, what little creativity that is created is mediocre and not worth anyone’s attention. The new blog lies unused and unappreciated, as I am unable to cope with the level of stress creating a new form for this blog would entail.

The only really worthy creation is my novel, which is right in the middle of publication. Artwork and cover colours are really the only honest-to-good creation I am able to work on, and that is in conjunction with a layout artist and my editor, so my input is minimal.

Unfortunately, I can’t share that with you, not yet, because I’m anxious that the results be seen at their finish rather than half-way through.

Its closing in to the world’s biggest, most expensive festival, Christmas. Something I personal don’t celebrate, so I’m not even doing anything for that. I have a GREAT idea for a homemade decoration that could be customised for every occasion, but even that lies stagnant inside my head as I am too exhausted to even near my sewing machine.

Sometimes, there are moments in life when health, mental and physical have to take precedence over everything else. It seems that if I could just improve a little, I would have the impetus to get back to blogging, creating and sharing the results with you all.

At the moment though, I feel stuck in a rut. As if I had fallen down a deep pit and without a huge shift I can’t get out. No matter how hard I try to pull myself out, to call for help, to see the light I can’t. I merely wear my already worn body out.

So for now, you lovely readers will have to wait it out. I have hope to be able to show you my new book in the next few months.

Thanks for you patience,

Until next time,


Monday, September 22, 2014

Mrs Egeland’s Latest Read Vol.II

It’s been a while since I last posted anything of this series, mostly because I haven’t read any book that I felt would be of interest to you all.

However, my mother was kind enough to send me a book that I think you will all be interested in. This might get deep and insightful, be warned.

HUNGRY by Crystal Renn

A Young Model’s Story of Appetite, Ambition and the Ultimate Embrace of Curves.

What the Blurb Says: Hungry charts the rise, fall and rise of Crystal Renn, offering a behind the scenes peek into the modelling industry, as well as a trenchant look at our weight obsessed culture. In this testament to the power of authenticity, Renn illustrates the ways in which the fashion industry is slowly changing and exposes the cold truths about size and sizeism. An inspiring and cautionary tale, Hungry will resonate with anyone who has battled society’s small-minded definitions of beauty.

I live in a country where I feel overweight, judged by others for not conforming to their national identity and surrounded by obsessive exercisers. That is my personal feelings on the matter! Part of that is my own feelings of insecurity, and nothing to do with the place I live.

This book is also about a woman’s insecurity, that rightly or wrongly, intentionally or not was exploited so that she became an anorexic, exercise bulimic. She was told that she was beautiful but too fat, she had to lose weight and that coupled with her own obsessive personality sent her down a road of starvation and unhappiness. Thankfully she found the strength to eat, to learn to love her natural shape and to stop caring about thigh gap or no thigh gap. 

Its a tale of success, of the perils of the fashion industry and Crystal Renn’s journey from emaciated anorexic to a healthy and successful plus-sized model.

Lessons I Took From It

I think it teaches what we’ve really always known that natural is beautiful and if you are naturally thin then good for you and if you are naturally curvy then good for you too. No one should be forced to being something they’re not even if its themselves doing the forcing. Sometimes we forget that.

It also shows that the beauty industry can be ruthless and extremist.

I can identify with her story because although I have never been anorexic, I am not naturally thin and I have been pressured into thinking that that was wrong, that I should look like everyone else, that I should strive to have tiny thighs with a gap between them. That somehow, because I wasn’t skinny, because I enjoy eating and I don’t go on punishing workouts five days a week I was bad, unhealthy, unattractive. This world is full of judgements and that can get inside your head, even when you have been raised to love yourself and your body, and without diligent hard work to get those extreme ideals out of your head its hard to feel good about who you are, and what you look like.

Everyone should love who they are and what they look like! Its not a privilege of the beautiful, its a right of all mankind!

Well that’s my two pence worth.

Until next time,

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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The Swings and Roundabouts of Life

You know what I mean, one minute your suicidal and then something so totally unexpected that you find yourself jumping for joy, two seconds later your on the floor, a bottle of whisky in your hand, crying yourself stupid and wishing you were dead. No I'm not bi-polar, neither do I wish to describe the horrific symptoms of that difficult illness. I use minutes in a completely symbolic manner because life is so rapidly changable it sometimes feels as if life is running through your fingers like water and that every week passes in a moment.

I use myself as an example, a twenty-something who counts herself an international resident. Why? Well if you've read any of my previous blogs you'll know that I travel on a regular basis and that I've lived in at least 5 countries. But getting back to my point, most of my emigrations were unforeseen a month previous to my departure. Even my arrival in Spain with my family, which was planned in theory months before did not become a concrete course of action until only four weeks previous to leaving our British home.

Sometimes life is so totally unpredictable that it makes you jump. Of course, most people don't move country in a little under four weeks, but everyone feels the unpredictability of life. Whether it being the sudden death of the pet canary, the old flame that turns up on the doorstep, the death sentence that hits you in the face after a few too many drinks or the chance of true love you weren't expecting. Life, no matter how boring or dull or safe you think it is, is a opportunistic creature waiting for that one moment to make you heart race, scare the hell out of you and generally make you realise that life is worth appreciating and living every single moment to the full.

The most surprising thing about life is that it never goes the way you think it will. That's to say, in my own personal experience, life is a plan that never comes out, a puzzle you never have all the pieces too and when you think you have all the pieces that's the moment you should start worrying, because you've probably missed something crucially important. Most of us twenty-somethings feel we've conquered the world and know all there is to know about life, that age is overrated and experience is just an idiots guidebook. Then we get older ourselves and the truth sinks in that we know nothing, we've conquereed nothing and that experience means cynicism and early aging. We listen to our parents who tell us they wouldn't exchange their age for ours for any amount of money, but that if they did they might have said a lot more to their friends, made a few different choices and giving a mouthful to that pretentious so and so in human resources.

Life is a series of ups and downs, swings and roundabouts and moments of absolute clarity followed by months of total darkness and fog. We live our lives as best we can, like driving down a road without any roadsigns and hoping, with a desperation that surprises even the most philosophical, that we're going the right way. Only the spiritual find a roadmap and even then there's no sure signs that the road they're travelling is the right one. Yet I prefer my roadmap to not knowing at all.

Life after all is a matter of guesswork, some of us use a roadmap guessing our heading is correct, some of us read the smiling faces of other drivers that we meet going in the same direction, even though we find ourselves smiling confidently back, assured that they don't know where they're going anymore than we do. Others speed down the road of life looking for it's end, some crash on the road of life and pray that they don't die sooner than expected. As I said, say on a daily basis life is an unknown quantity in the recipe that is humanity. All you can really do is grin and bear it, enjoying the best bits and suffering the worst. I'm a twenty-something filled with scepticism, cynicism, sarcasm and a good heart, thankfully at this moment I'm relatively happy I just hope it stays this good a little longer than a few minutes. Enough from me. Over and out.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Life lost nobody

That's me. It sounds like I'm being hugely self critical but honestly, I'm 25 (yes, it's my real age) and I still have no clue what I'm supposed to do with my life. Half of my friends are married and the rest are trying to make a career for themselves. I didn't go to college/further education I moved to Spain, I didn't want to go to further education, to be perfectly honest I couldn't see the point. So here's my dilema, now I'm here, my only true talent is writing and that is because they taught me how to do that at the age of 5 and continued to teach me right up to high school. I'm at a relatively young age but where as all my peers are already happily on the road of life, I sit here unsure what talent I actually do have. I've never taken the time to find out what I'm good at, and so I sit and ponder what I want to do with my life, waiting as I usually do for something to come along and take the decision away from me. My question is how can you possibly know for sure at 17 or 18 what you want to do with your life? So that you can choose what to study? Study something that will give you qualification that you will use for the rest of your life? How is that possible? You don't marry the person you meet at 17... so why make a choice that will dictate your life at college?

Some of my friends say that they spent college trying to figure that out, and that mostly they just studied the most economically course. The one that would eventually make them the most money. Only my dear artistic friends did something that they really felt strongely about, they went to art college.

My life has been lived in the "university of life" and although it's given me a hugely matured, open minded view of the world, it hasn't given as many qualifications as I would like. Thankfully I still have the opportunity to try my hand at studying, but it will mostly be vocational training.
Furniture renovation and practical things like that. That's something that has developed out of a love of furniture and interior design, not because I went to college. So still my question is left unanswered, and I suppose that it's something that everyone has to answer for themselves. Personally although I'm glad I didn't go to further education because it gave me other opportunities, I would like to retrain and maybe the next twenty years of my life doing something completely different. Over and out.